I belong to a Hindu Brahmin joint family where daily life is closely connected to traditions, rituals, and family rules. In such a house, space is not used only for comfort but also according to beliefs and habits passed down through generations. The house shapes how people move, where they sit, and who uses which space. From the oota, the seating space near the main entrance where family members sit and talk in the evenings, to the more controlled inner rooms, each space has a specific role. Everyday activities like prayer, cooking, resting, and meeting others are guided by cultural practices. This essay looks at my house as a lived space where gender, age, and authority affect how rooms are used in daily life.
On the ground floor, there is a room that was first built as a bedroom but is now used as the devghar, where daily prayers and rituals take place. This room is treated as a sacred space and is connected to ideas of purity and discipline. Because my grandparents live with us, the rules related to this space are strictly followed. Women are not allowed to enter the devghar during menstruation. Although this rule comes from religious belief, it mainly affects how women move inside the house. The devghar is also closely linked to the presence of elders, who spend most of their daytime on the ground floor. This makes the room an important centre of religious and moral authority in the house.
Next to the devghar is the kitchen, which is one of the busiest spaces in the house. Even during menstruation, women continue to work in the kitchen because cooking is necessary and there is no other option or alternate person to cook. This shows a clear difference between ritual restriction and daily needs. While women may be restricted from sacred spaces, their work in the kitchen is essential for the household. Women spend a large part of their day cooking, cleaning, and managing food. Men, including my father and grandfather, usually enter the kitchen only during meals or for specific rituals. Because of this pattern, the kitchen becomes a space mainly associated with women’s work rather than rest or leisure.
The living room is the most open and visible space in the house. It is mainly used by male members, especially in the evening. My father and grandfather often sit there to relax, talk, or watch television. Women move through the living room often, but they usually do not stay there for long unless they are serving food or doing some work. or grandmother sitting there whole day to watch tv n etc...Since there is only one television, it is mostly controlled by usually grandparents. Women may watch their programmes for a short time but usually leave after some time. This everyday routine shows how comfort and leisure in shared spaces are often linked to gender and seniority.
Movement between floors also shows differences in how space is used. The staircase connects the busy ground floor to the quieter first floor. During the day, my grandparents mostly stay downstairs and go upstairs only at night. The bedrooms on the first floor provide privacy and rest, but this comfort is not equal for everyone. Men use the gallery more freely for resting or personal time. Women usually go upstairs for specific tasks like cleaning, arranging storage, or preparing rooms. On the second floor, the terrace is used for family and friends gatherings and has plants. It feels more open and relaxed compared to other spaces.
The oota near the main entrance is an important everyday space. In the evenings, family members sit here to talk among themselves and with neighbours. This space connects the inside of the house with the outside world. Elderly members usually sit here for longer periods, while younger members move in and out. The oota feels more open and shared, but ideas of respect, age, and gender still influence who speaks and who listens.
Living in a joint family teaches values through everyday life. Ideas about gender roles, respect for elders, and authority are learned by observing daily routines rather than through direct teaching. Through repeated use of space like who cooks, who rests, who controls shared areas the house quietly passes on social values from one generation to the next. In this way, the house is not just a place to live, but a space that shapes behaviour and relationships in everyday life.
